Unguarded Passion

“The Key to writing is writing.  The first draft comes from the heart, and the second draft comes from my head.”  Yes, I am noticing that every day I find myself in some way reciting that quote.  I honestly need it rooted in my spirit.  When you are passionate about something. You eat, sleep, and breathe it.  That’s where am I right now.  My passion is being restored for the one thing that I loved to do, and was very good at doing. 
I remember a time when I did eat, sleep, and breathe writing.  I would work the swing shift, get off at 11:30 at night, come home, and write until 3 or 4 in the morning.  I could sit down and just write like it was nothing.  I would write at work, write at the park, I have even sat in a bowling alley during rock and bowl with the loud music and black lights writing in between my turn to bowl.  I was a writer, and writing is what I did.  Thinking back on those times gives me that feeling some people get when they walk through a house and smell the savory flavors of their favorite childhood dish; and at that moment they feel like they are literally right back at the place when their senses first came in contact with that smell.  Yeap, its like that.
The other day I was sitting at home watching TV, and I came across one of my favorite movies, Finding Forrester.  I chuckled at myself a little, because I found myself taking notes on the advice Forrester was giving Jamaal, hence the above quote that I have been stuck on.  I had forgotten how the movie ended, and I found myself crying at the end.  The problem was I couldn’t stop crying, and I didn’t understand why.  It wasn’t until my catch up chat with my Resident Psychologist that the light bulb came on, and I got the revelation on why I was crying.
I cried, because the very thing that Forrester warned Jamaal about happened to me.   In my quest to hone my skills and become a better writer, I came across some people that didn’t understand nor believe that writing was so natural and easy for me.  I didn’t fit in the box and the formulas that they had come to consistently train other writers.  In the end they took me, and my raw natural talent, and shattered me.  Slowly, but surely I shutdown, until eventually I stopped writing altogether. 
The funny thing is, I had experienced and successful writers encouraging me to directly pursue employment as a full time writer.  They told me, “Don’t do the programs.  Don’t take the classes.  Just write.  You can do this.”  The problem was I saw other writers “on my level” that were applying to the programs, and taking the classes.  So since I was scared, and slightly insecure; I did the opposite of what I was advised.   Watching that movie reminded me of my love for writing, and how I have been separated from it for the last 6-7 years.  What a price to pay!
I don’t know what it is you’re passionate about, or what natural gifts and talents you have; but what I do know is that you should always keep them guarded.  There is a difference between constructive criticism and “I’m trying to hurt you” criticism. You want those things that are going to correct while still helping you build, not things that rip away your very unique foundation.  The last thing you want is to be forced into a box that you weren’t even designed to fit in.
Well, that’s my note for today, and yes there will be more to come.  But until then… I thank you for stopping by, and I wish you a safe and wonderful day! #365