Going Against The Grain

I know that I’ve been silent for the last few weeks, but believe me it hasn’t been on purpose. I’ve had every good intention to write and share what’s been on my mind, but life seemed to have its own set of plans for me.  Since my last post, I have literally been challenged on almost a daily basis to maintain a renewed mind, and uphold the principles of the Law of Attraction.  Did I think that I wouldn’t be challenged?  I absolutely knew that I would be.  I have to be honest though, in the beginning I was like one of them inflatable punching toys that the kids have, where you hit it and within seconds it bounces right back up; but I found that after a week and a few days of consistent pounding my “bounce back time” got a little extended.  Nevertheless, I pressed and as you can see… I got back up. 

So let me give you a little back story.  See as the New Year approached, I did a serious examination of myself, and found that I didn’t like the person I had become; and some things had to change.  I know that New Year’s resolutions are what most people might have put in place here, but honestly I think New Year’s resolutions are made to be broken.  I mean seriously, I can’t think of one single solitary resolution that I actually kept throughout an entire year.  I was looking for a lifelong behavioral impacting change.  That’s when I started being reminded of how to renew my mind.  I also came to the understanding that I needed to grow up, face my fears, and leave the past in the past (good or bad).  So I stepped outside of myself, and reached out for help.  I opened up to someone that could counsel, mentor, and help coach me out of my rut.   As I have worked on implementing these changes, I can see the shift of things for the better in my life.   BUT the “behaviors” that I was/am working on didn’t develop overnight.  Some of these things have been with me for months and years, and are now like second nature to me.  So they are now taking turns challenging me saying stuff like, “You didn’t really think I left you,” and “You won’t ever get rid of me, I’ll always be right here waiting for you.”  Oh and here is the best one, “Look, you right back where you started, and you thought things were changing.” 
As I said before, at first I bounced back quickly from these challenges, because I was able to quickly identify them as distractions due to my decision to change some things.  I looked at the challenge dismissed it and moved on.  But then they kept coming, each time with more and more impact.  So my response/dismissal time slowed, and before I knew it I looked up and I was falling back into some of the same habits.  It’s funny, because I remember being in this same place one time before.  That place where you’ve been taking beating after beating, and you have to decide whether to get up or stay down.  The last time, I thought about making the decision so long, the decision made itself.  Oh but this time, I decided that moment by moment, step by step, day by day with every fiber in my being I am getting up.   I have to, because it’s not about me anymore.  It’s about my children and those watching my life to learn and gain an example of how to navigate through theirs.  Now, that’s not to say that I don’t want to experience a prosperous and joyous life.  That I do, but I am to do my best to lead by example along the way – Spoiler Alert: I’m not perfect; I will sometimes get it wrong, but I will do my best to get it right.
I said all of that to say, hang in there.  Don’t give up and GET UP!  Going against the grain and setting new patterns and habits is not easy.  You will be challenged, but you don’t have to be defeated.  It takes work.  You know that age old saying, “Practice makes perfect.”  You might not make the basket every time, but keep working at it and make adjustments as needed.  Before you know it, you’ll be getting it right more than wrong.  Ok, I think I have given myself a good enough pep talk for the day.  As always, I thank you so much for stopping by, and I wish you a safe and wonderful day!

Published by T. Lynn Tate

I am a story mid-wife, writer, and Talk Show Host. I specialize in helping women tell their stories of healing to wholeness through various faith-based genres. I am the host of the online talk show series Penned The Writer's Utopia and Sip & Chat with T. Lynn.

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